Finally Adressing the Dark Knight Massacre

Hey, guys. I know it's been over a year since I've posted here, and that's mostly because I've been too distracted by other projects. But tomorrow will be the one month anniversary of the Dark Knight massacre in Aurora, CO, and after watching the episode of Spoilers with Kevin Smith where he gathers together his group of friends together to talk through the tragedy, I felt a rush of feelings about it that I didn't allow myself to feel as it was happening. I feel like I owe it to myself to talk through those and put in my two cents as a person who loves superheros and loves movies and loves humans.

I watched aghast from the sidelines, gathering up all the stories I could find about the victims, the survivors, and the crazy man who tried to ruin the movies. I watched for the bright spots, the men who sacrificed their lives trying to lead others to safety, or shielding their loved ones. They gave me hope that maybe superheros are everywhere, waiting to be called. But I haven't gone back to the movies yet.

I remember being so excited when The Dark Knight came out. I had just started working a new summer job and I was out with my friend to see the midnight showing. When we got to the theatre, all the tickets for midnight were sold out, but there were so many people who didn't get tickets, the theatre decided to have another showing at 3 am. So we bought tickets and waited. I called my mom and told her I probably wouldn't be back home until dawn.

To me, this movie would be a form of closure. Growing up, I was in love with Heath Ledger. I absolutely loved him, and when he died shortly after making The Dark Knight movie, I was crushed. I needed to see him and accept that this was the last movie he would ever complete.

Movies have always been like therapy to me. Getting lost in a story that teams of thousands of people built around nothing but words is a cleansing, life-affirming experience to me.

So naturally, when The Dark Knight Rises was announced, I got excited again. I wanted to hear the rest of the story. I knew I couldn't go to the midnight showing, but I had made plans to go see the movie that weekend with my partner.

Then on Friday morning, I read the news that something bad had happened. That's when I began consuming all the news I could grab about it. Each story was more wrenching than the last, because each of the victims were just like me. They loved superheros and movies and went out to celebrate a new piece of art with people they loved. It was incredibly scary. The movies are supposed to be a safe place where you can escape these kinds of horrors. They're a kind of sanctuary. My church meets in a movie theatre for goodness sake. A theatre is a place where naturally, I feel at home and safe. Thousands of people are the same way. How dare somebody try and take that away from us?

Movies are so important to our culture. They illustrate our society in ways the news will never be able to. They're mirrors and time capsules and mouthpieces for our culture. They are very, very important, and sometimes people forget how important they are. So I'm going to stop being afraid and go watch a movie.

Love,
MM

Not-So-Happy Stuff :(

Dear Spookies,

Up til now, I haven't acted very "Gothy". At least not since I got over myself after my freshman year of college. My former blog (buried in the annals of the internet on a website called "DeadJournal".... I was far too dark and brood-y to have a LiveJournal like everyone else) can attest to the doomy-gloomy teenager I used to be.

A cocktail of meds and years of therapy have done wonders for me. But occasionally I still get really really REALLY SAD.

This is one of those really really sad times, Spookies. Every so once in a while, I get overwhelmed by life and it makes day-to-day life seem like an insurmountable chore.

Near the end of January, I lost my uncle Smokey, who was like a father to my mom (she called him her "chosen father"). I have bill collectors calling me 7 times a day about a credit card I got in order to pay my (now deceased) cat's medical bills. A good friend and fellow Toy Soldier died a few days ago as well. I hate the people I have to work with and the corporate nonsense I have to endure for not nearly enough pay. I've been suddenly given a deadline to finish my degree, otherwise I'm going to lose most (if not all) of the credits I've earned over the past 4 years. My roommate and I are having a bit of a difficult time seeing eye to eye on ANYTHING. And I miss my ex-boyfriend. All of these things are making me feel guilty and angry and ultimately, pretty helpless.

When my life is in such upheaval, it's hard for me to trust that things will change and that everything is going to get better. I know it will get better. It always does. I wish I was one of those people who was able to just brace themselves and run headfirst into their problems. Tackle it and piece by piece get it done. I'm stuck on the big picture, and it's pretty scary-looking. And when I idle like this, people get impatient. I can't blame them. They're basically forced to watch someone self-destruct right in front of them. Which can't be pretty.

I think I need to go in and get re-evaluated. My brain is not okay. Normal people should be able to process grief and anger and sadness. I need to quit avoiding stuff. I need to do my taxes. I need to grow confident in my new relationship. But first, I think I need some motivation. Now where to find some of that.....

Love Forever,
Miss Manic

Endings and Beginnings

Spookies, I have some bad news.

Well I suppose it's both good and bad news. Beau and I are no longer a couple. The breakup was initiated by me, and involved a host of factors influencing my decision. I believe I did the right thing, but that does not mean that I don't feel bad, guilty and depressed over it. I'd rather not go into details here in this blog, but trust that we will both be better off for having separated. I'm sure of it.

I just have to keep telling myself that.

In other news, I've become completely wrapped up in Toy Soldier-ish things. Ugly, the famous uglydoll came and spent Christmas with me (and also my first Hanukkah!). I've also initiated a contest for the design of the new #6800 logo, entered a Toy Soldier quilt block exchange, and spearheaded my very first mission, which will take place next weekend. Busy me! I suppose busy is better than the alternative, though.

Sorry I don't have much more to write, Spookies. Hopefully I'll have a longer entry for you all soon, but in the meantime: LOVE.

-Miss Manic

Post-Halloween Blahs

Hello, Spookies.

I wish I had the post I intended to give you all today. Unfortunately, paying rent outweighs sampling the local haunts, and I was not able to gather nearly as much information as I had originally planned.

However, I did have the opportunity to visit Cedar Point's Halloweekends with a small group of Toy Soldiers. It was a great time, and I really enjoyed visiting with my Toy Soldier friends. Hopefully I'll get to see my friends in the #6800 and #614 divisions again very soon.

Love,
Miss Manic

Halloween Pre-Party

Spookies!

I am so sorry for having abandoned you! I hope we can still be friends. I have so much to tell you.

The reasons for my three months to the day absence from this blog are many, but I will spare you the more boring details. The more exciting ones, however....

I am thrilled to tell you all that I have moved again! No, I am no longer living in southern Ohio, thank goodness. Though I am still going to school, I have opted to take the remainder of my classes online to avoid.... well, to avoid southern Ohio. I declare myself forevermore a city dweller.

Anyway, getting back to the good news, I have moved! And I am gainfully employed! I am quite excited about my new living situation, even if it did not turn out as I had originally hoped. My intentions were to move in with my Beau, but extenuating circumstances prevented that, and I have instead found myself an apartment with my very old friend, Ben. Originally, I was very concerned about moving in with Ben, as we are quite the odd couple. He is very organized, I have yet to unpack my boxes. He wakes up just as I am about to go to bed. I love me some veggies, he believes that lettuce is an invention of the devil. You get the picture. Somehow, a month in, we have survived with minimal bickering. Which is fantastic.

I have also gotten a job at (are you ready) the Halloween store (oh, shock!) up the street, which is proving to be a lot more fun than I had anticipated. On top of that job, just this past afternoon, I also became hired at the craft store, which I am certain will quickly become a device to further excuse my crippling addiction to fabric. We all need our vices, true?

As far as news on the Gothic front, it's almost Halloween! I am attempting to decorate the apartment with loads of spooky stuff, and agonizing over whether or not throwing a Halloween party in our new place is a good idea. I vote no and roommate votes yes, but we both have quite different ideas of what a party is. We'll see what happens. Also, since my roommate and I are both HUGE Halloween fanatics, we are planning a state-wide tour of some famous and not-so-famous haunts. Our first attempt fell flat on it's face, but we plan to continue our hunt for the best haunt in Ohio tomorrow night with Columbus's very own Scare-a-Torium at the corner of 161 and Karl Road. I have not heard much about it, but I do hope that it lives up to all the hype they've been putting out.

Our ratings scale will go as follows, with a score from 1 to 5, with 5 being the best:

~Price (parking/admission)
~Wait time
~Ambiance (outside/inside haunt)
~Special effects, Props
~Quality of characters
~Scariness
~Overall

On our list to be reviewed are The Scare-a-Torium, the Haunted Hoochie at Dead Acres, TerrorFest, Ohio State Reformatory, and the Haunted Cave at Lewisburg (Also, POSSIBLY the Dent School House and Ghostly Manor). Each has either won awards for spookiness, or label themselves as "Ohio's _____ Haunt". I am extremely excited to share the results with you all, not only for your reference, but for my own enjoyment as well! I look quite forward to it, Spookies.

Love,
Miss Manic!

Gothic for Life: a reflection

Dear Spookies,

So maybe this should have been my introduction post, but there's something to be said for inspiration, isn't there? I've recently been re-watching episodes of the 2004 Sci Fi channel reality show "Mad Mad House" which first ran on television when I was 16 or so.

I could not miss an episode of this show, I adored it. I fell in love with the "Alts", the alternative people who hosted the show, and I wanted to be more like them. Especially Don, the Vampire and Fiona, the Witch. I hated the house guests. Not only because they were out to fool these Alts, but because they felt like they didn't have to be open minded. Somehow I felt offended on a personal level when the house guests refused to participate in demonstrations by the Alts, because I would have been so happy to be there and learn from all of them.

Cheesy as it might sound, I think that show was a final realization that I was going to be Gothic forever. I had never seen an adult Gothic person before, and that sort of made me fall in love with Don the Vampire. He was everything a Gothic man should be in my eyes. He was well dressed, pale, handsome, slept in a coffin.... of course my vision has broadened a bit after I realized how impractical being that pale is unless you actually are nocturnal.

In re-watching the series, there was a particular segment where two of the Alts (Don and Art, probably the two most extreme looking) and a few of the house guests went to the grocery store to pick up some things. People laughed, pointed and one woman even confronted Art about how he looked like a demon. One of the house guests spoke up to the woman who said this saying "if you knew this man, you'd know that he has a bigger heart than any one of us". Which really spoke to me as to how accepting alternative people in general are. Truly, we don't have the easiest lives by choosing to look the way we do. Perhaps we truly are big-hearted, or maybe we're just gluttons for punishment. Either way, we alternative folks don't generally shut out the badness of the world just because of a few mean people, and we generally don't treat eachother badly either. We're just generally kind, and I think that's pretty cool.

Rambling aside, that show made me realize that my "dressing Goth" wasn't necessarily a childhood phase, but more importantly, that it didn't HAVE to be. My parents might have worried about my baggy black pants and corsets and lectured me that one day I'd have to "grow up" in order to be an effective member of society, but now that I'm an adult (and my clothing tastes are a bit more refined/age appropriate), they.... still don't LOVE it. But they understand that it's a style of dress that makes me comfortable and feel most like myself, just like they would feel at home in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

Maybe 22 is a bit early to be making judgements about the rest of my life, but I feel pretty confident that I would be very bored in the mainstream. I can see myself as a cranky eldergoth one day, still handing out sanctimonious advice from my high horse about "back in the day", and I don't know if I would have come to this realization had it not been for that silly little reality show.

LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Miss Manic

Delayed Reviews

Hello there, Spookies!

I've been dragging my feet on this update for a month, and I feel absolutely awful about it. Truthfully, my Spookies, my mind has not been clear enough lately to post. Life has been quite difficult for me lately, and I've had to momentarily put some things on the shelf while figuring some things out. Having said that, things are looking up, and I am making some positive steps towards the future. Pray for the best, my friends.

Now! I promised you all some reviews. The first thing I'd like to tell you all about is my visit to the brand new Outland location, and the Voltaire concert I saw there. All I have to say about Outland is that it is FANTASTIC. It's decorated with elements of style ranging from 1980's glamour to Victorian Gothic. Somehow all aesthetics come together in a delightfully eclectic and fashionable mish-mash. It is spacious without feeling empty, and provides plenty of secluded corners for couples to sneak off and have a snuggle between songs.

As for the Voltaire show.... it was an event, Spookies. Many people know Voltaire as a friendly and quick-witted individual who enjoys sharing conversations with his fans. That evening was no exception, and I had the opportunity to enjoy the presence of Voltaire's company among some new friends.

Immediately upon joining this conversation, I was the target of his jokes for a while. To my disappointment, Voltaire is not a fan of Dr. Steel's music. This makes me very sad, and for whatever reason, it's a bit difficult to attach words to. I feel like these two musicians, who I respect greatly and who share quite a bit of common ground, should be friends. Perhaps one day. Toy Soldiers, I'm setting you on it!

This particular concert was an extremely intimate showcase of some of Voltaire's lesser-known work. The majority of the songs he played were either never recorded for albums or were on small-release albums such as "Banned on Vulcan". He also sang a few songs that are slated to be released on his country record, due out later this year. It was much more toned down and slightly more intimate than the "To the Bottom of the Sea" show he played at Circus over Halloween. Definitely a fabulous show. As always, Voltaire delivered an amazing one-of-a-kind show. I cannot wait for him to come back to town. I'll be the one in the Toy Soldier uniform. ^_~

Speaking of my dear Dr. Steel, he has recently released his VERY FIRST official music video for his song "Childhood Don't A Go-Go". It was directed by Tony Leonardi III and has been in the works for the past several YEARS! In fact, if you look closely, you can see a clip from the finished product in "Building a Utopian Playland", which was released several years before hand.

The video itself blends live-action, computer-generated graphics, stop motion, and of course, an army of very strange little toys. It's a fantastically entertaining little video, and generated a lot of pride amongst the Army of Toy Soldiers. It is available EXCLUSIVELY on the front page of WWW.ToySoldiersUnite.COM

Finally, also speaking of Dr. Steel, I must share that just this past weekend I participated in a large-scale invasion of Columbus Ohio's MARCON (Multiple Alternate Realities Convention). With 1800 in attendance, our small squad of soldiers were able to send an estimated 1300 of those people home with propaganda. As if this success wasn't enough, our booth also won "Best in Show", outranking the legendary 501st Legion of Stormtroopers(Check out the photo of Div. #614 in front of our award-winning booth on the sidebar!). Our group's accomplishments make me proud to be a Toy Soldier, and I will do my best to continue striving for excellence for the benefit of Dr. Steel.

I hope to be more regular about my posts in the future. That should be a much easier accomplishment once I'm home for the summer. Good luck at your finals, Spookies! Goodness knows I'll need luck for mine. ^_^

Love!
Miss Manic